A Letter to Morel from Helix

Before I begin, I'll warn you, just like most of my more comedy themed posts, unless you are one of a few people this will probably make absolutely no sense. But I hope you enjoy nonetheless!

     This is your dear friend, Helix. I have gathered information on the one behind the soulless mushrooms. As I told you before, he is neither Shroomis nor Shroomis. I have learned his name, he goes simply by "old man Grey". As you may have guessed, he is not even a mushroom. Old man Grey was once a fond eater of mushroom stew, but every bite brought a tear to his old, wrinkled eye. He was very supportive of mushroom rights, but he could not resist the delicacy of a fresh, steaming bowl of stew.
     However, one day, he met the young mushroom Shroorala, a young and poor inhabitant of a far away swamp. Deep in poverty, neither had the good fortune to meet the beloved king Shroomis. However, combining the cunning and logic of Shroorala and the wisdom and experience of old man Grey, the two came up with a brilliant plan. With the support of the chieftain of their swamp, they had enough funds to begin their new project. And so, they set forth.
     The two realized that there were a lot of people like old man Grey; they would happily support mushrooms, but could not give up a delicious meal. The two realized that if they could make a replacement, so many more would give up on the senseless murder of innocent mushrooms. And so they began to create "soulless mushrooms", artificial creations that are just as, if not more, nutritious and delicious as live mushrooms.
     There was one problem with this plan.
     Even though these artificial mushrooms did not talk or respond in any way a live mushroom would, there were still doubters. In fact, no one believed that these mushrooms were manufactured from something other than a live mushroom. Shroorala came up with an idea that if they got king Shroomis' support, then people would start believing. However, as I stated before, neither had ever met the royal mushroom, nor did they have the funds to travel such a long distance. So, they advertised as having his support. Sure enough, they started to get believers, but still not many. They currently only sell to four locations throughout the world of Minecraft, one of which you know as the White Wood Inn. The other three are too distant to even mention.
     I ask of you now, as being close to the king, to deliver their request to him. They wish for him to give his support. They believe strongly that this will aid in the preservation of thousands if not billions of mushrooms lives. This concludes my letter to you.
Sincerely
your good friend
Helix